Guest Post: The Labor of Community Building
“Do you work?” We hear this question all the time. Someone outside gardening is asked if they’re enjoying their day off. A parent taking their kids to the supermarket gets the question: “Do you work, or just stay home with the kids?” Our culture has lost the nuance behind the word work, equating it purely to paid labor outside of the family. As we consider how we both promote the economic and social well-being of families, we started to dig into the ASP’s perspective on the dignity of work.
One problem that comes with our culture’s way of thinking about work is that it ignores the substantial amount of labor that is critical in building up families and communities. Unpaid labor. When we talk as if only paid work is worthy of social discourse, policy, and praise, we fail to acknowledge the forms of unpaid work that are indispensable. We inadvertently discourage people who are well suited to take on those subtle but unpaid tasks that form us as a people and as a society. Raising and forming our children is certainly one of these indispensable tasks.
Forming young people in character and values is a multi-decade long commitment shared among parents, family members, friends, and neighbors. Of course, there are some paid jobs that do involve elements of this work. Teachers and coaches, for example, fill an important role, and long-term mentors are becoming increasingly common for children. However, these people can never meet the entirety of a child’s needs because they are- necessarily- limited in scope. Teachers cannot possibly reach the level of depth or longevity needed for the day-to-day, month-to-month, and year-to-year attention that young people need. Due to the rigid demands of employers and society, many parents are relegated to forming our young people within the margins of late nights and weekends. This is not enough. Our communities, and our future as a country, benefit from the ‘hidden’ work of raising our children.
Wouldn’t it be better to recognize that our economy should be in the service of our families working to sustain our economy? Community building activities merit protection from the demands of the economy. To this end, we must carefully consider our policy decisions. While all workers need robust protections, we must not incentivize stay-at-home parents to take on outside employment at the expense of their families. The Child and Dependent Care Credit does just that. This credit is only available to married couples if they have dual income, and it financially docks families where one parent needs to or chooses to be the primary caregiver for their children- despite the sheer amount of labor that goes into being a primary caregiver. If child care credits are offered, employment status should not be a factor.
New moms already face enormous pressure to go back to work. In 2020, 67.4 percent of women with children under 6 years old participated in the labor force. Families should get to decide for themselves whether having two parents in the workforce is the best option for them. Only parents can be the best judge of whether the best thing for their family is to have a parent filling the role of primary caregiver. And while that deeply personal decision can be made in more than one right way, it should never be made by force, financial constraints, or societal pressure.
The pervasive message in modern America is that meaning and purpose are achieved through careers. Kids learn that living the good life means fighting to achieve that dream career. We need to make sure there is another message out there: many people have found joy, meaning, and purpose through the long, slow, and often unpaid work of building up families, neighborhoods, and communities. Theirs is truly a labor of love. This work is labor precisely because it is slow and drawn out. It requires deep patience and often self-sacrifice for a greater good. The greater is the formation of generations who, through every kissed scrape, every reminder to be kind during a playdate, and the witness of living each day for another person, learn through the example of their parents what kind of person to be in society. That is a work of unparalleled dignity.
Laura Evans Serna is a philosophy graduate student with a background in mathematical modeling. She is passionate about building up and serving her community, especially as a doula and lactation counselor for women with little social support. As a military spouse, she has lived and worked in four states, as well as the UK and Japan. She currently lives in Albuquerque, NM with her husband, four beautiful daughters, and numerous anima ls.
